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The Russian Patient
When I was escorted in my capacity as Buddha to the nearest psychiatric hospital not far from Amsterdam, I honestly expected a more royal approach towards my condition: Champagne, private plane, a couple of bodyguards, etc. Instead I was injected with something into my ass, slept for three days and woke up to the camera… Continue reading
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The Scream
Let’s have a look at another painting in relation to ‘madness’ by Edvard Munch, named ‘’The Scream’’. There are a lot of interpretations of this painting, including the one that accuses the painter of drawing ‘anxiety’. I disagree (anxiety was just one aspect of his ordeal). Munch drew this panting after his sister had been… Continue reading
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Mental Asylum
On the painting called La Salpêtrière (1795), Tony Robert-Fleury depicts how ‘madness’ was dealt with during the age of enlightenment. The ‘mad elements’ of the society were institutionalized in asylums, together with criminals. If you had nothing better to do on a Sunday, you could go to the asylum and watch the ‘mad’ for a… Continue reading
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What is Happiness?
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness? Happiness, the concept of it, has been imposed on us, here in the West, as some sort of a guru mantra that could solve all our problems. In reality, however, it is pretty much impossible. We can get these glimpses of occasional happiness, but they are… Continue reading
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I started to trust my psychiatrist. I had to.
Describe one positive change you have made in your life. When one has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and totally unexpected, the natural reaction of any person would be a negation of it. And in all honesty, I am still not sure it applies to me (my diagnosis), but one thing I did learn during… Continue reading
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One bipolar morning everyday
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? Those who know me, know that I am an early riser. I wake up at 5.30/6 to the singing of the blackbirds, and try to enjoy the moment for some time before getting up and going downstairs. My cat is… Continue reading
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Psychosis: Before and After
Prior to my first ‘psychosis’ and my first psychiatric hospital in a small Dutch town called Purmerend, I was leading quite a successful life, according to the society’s standards. I somehow managed to get a job as a financial analyst of banks (and later, as a portfolio manager) in a Dutch consultancy without any diploma… Continue reading
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And so, my psychiatric journey began…
It was twenty years ago when I entered my first psychiatric hospital, in a town called Purmerend, not far from Amsterdam. I was driven there by my boss and a colleague/dear friend, who were concerned about my health. I was in a ‘psychosis’, in which I experienced the most amazing things. The whole world appeared… Continue reading
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Bipolar and writing
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind? I often changed my mind about how I approach my ‘bipolar disorder’. A recent example is when decided to write openly about my diagnosis and my experience with ‘psychoses’. I thought hard about it and reached the conclusion that if I, a university lecturer,… Continue reading
About Me
I am a doctor of philosophy, a university lecturer, and a lover of cats, fine wine, dancing, theatre, and human eccentricity. Born in the Soviet Union (Moscow), I grew up in both Russia and Donbas. I am fluent in four languages, and have spent all my adult life studying (except from 18 to 19) working and living throughout Western Europe. Despite a surname-Netchitailova- that translates from Russian into English as “unreadable”, my great passions in life are reading and writing. My personal struggles have made me appreciate the manifestations of weirdness that exist everywhere. My novel ‘Elena: A Love Story for Humankind’ telling a story of a Russian pianist, diagnosed with schizophrenia, looking for her twin sister in England, can be found on Amazon.