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The Russian Patient
When I was escorted in my capacity as Buddha to the nearest psychiatric hospital not far from Amsterdam, I honestly expected a more royal approach towards my condition: Champagne, private plane, a couple of bodyguards, etc. Instead I was injected with something into my ass, slept for three days and woke up to the camera… Continue reading
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The Scream
Let’s have a look at another painting in relation to ‘madness’ by Edvard Munch, named ‘’The Scream’’. There are a lot of interpretations of this painting, including the one that accuses the painter of drawing ‘anxiety’. I disagree (anxiety was just one aspect of his ordeal). Munch drew this panting after his sister had been… Continue reading
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Mental Asylum
On the painting called La Salpêtrière (1795), Tony Robert-Fleury depicts how ‘madness’ was dealt with during the age of enlightenment. The ‘mad elements’ of the society were institutionalized in asylums, together with criminals. If you had nothing better to do on a Sunday, you could go to the asylum and watch the ‘mad’ for a… Continue reading
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What is Happiness?
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness? Happiness, the concept of it, has been imposed on us, here in the West, as some sort of a guru mantra that could solve all our problems. In reality, however, it is pretty much impossible. We can get these glimpses of occasional happiness, but they are… Continue reading
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I started to trust my psychiatrist. I had to.
Describe one positive change you have made in your life. When one has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and totally unexpected, the natural reaction of any person would be a negation of it. And in all honesty, I am still not sure it applies to me (my diagnosis), but one thing I did learn during… Continue reading
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One bipolar morning everyday
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? Those who know me, know that I am an early riser. I wake up at 5.30/6 to the singing of the blackbirds, and try to enjoy the moment for some time before getting up and going downstairs. My cat is… Continue reading
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I just believe
Do you believe in fate/destiny? From an early age I have always believed in something. I remember how on a walk with my mum, in Moscow, I would look into the sky, up above me, and ask myself whether there was more to this world and our universe. Moscow is a city of high buildings,… Continue reading
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A job and bipolar disorder
Do you enjoy your job? I love my job, and in general, I love working. But it hasn’t always been easy, in fact to get where I am now, it took me massive efforts to achieve. I teach at universities, and try to navigate it around my bipolar disorder. I have vulnerability to psychoses. I… Continue reading
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The value of Money
In philosophy there is a group of scholars, called Frankfurt School. It comprised such eminent scholars, as Adorno, Horkheimer, and Marcuse. They were Jewish academics who managed to escape Germany under the fascism and live in the United States of America. After several years of living there, they reached quite a sad conclusion: America wasn’t… Continue reading
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Coping mechanisms for ‘bipolar disorder’
I don’t believe in diagnoses, but I do have a fragile mental health. I am vulnerable to ‘psychoses’, which for me are incredible spiritual experiences, but they are considered as mental illness by the psychiatry. I do take medication for it, simply because even if I find my psychoses beautiful, they bring havoc to my… Continue reading
About Me
I am a doctor of philosophy, a university lecturer, and a lover of cats, fine wine, dancing, theatre, and human eccentricity. Born in the Soviet Union (Moscow), I grew up in both Russia and Donbas. I am fluent in four languages, and have spent all my adult life studying (except from 18 to 19) working and living throughout Western Europe. Despite a surname-Netchitailova- that translates from Russian into English as “unreadable”, my great passions in life are reading and writing. My personal struggles have made me appreciate the manifestations of weirdness that exist everywhere. My novel ‘Elena: A Love Story for Humankind’ telling a story of a Russian pianist, diagnosed with schizophrenia, looking for her twin sister in England, can be found on Amazon.