Any process to healing starts with loving oneself.
It is a process I am undergoing now, something I do to myself and I want to share it with you.
The most traumatic, bad experience in life usually leads to an illness, it can be expressed in different forms, such as getting ill physically, or developing symptoms of anxiety, depression, or even ‘psychosis’. The problem with the current medical system is that when you come inside feeling unwell, it makes you feel even worse, by proclaiming you as ill. Sometimes, the ‘doctors’ even tell that it is chronic.
This, of course, damages the person even more, and in fact, reinforces the trauma already inside one’s individual mind. When bad things happened to you in life, you need love and healing, and not the system of punishment hidden behind the psychiatric diagnoses, and the drugs they prescribe. There might be even benefit of some short-term medication, but only when it’s given from love, from the intention to make you feel better, not when it’s prescribed from the position that ‘something is wrong with you’.
I battled with this dilemma of diagnoses for ages, until I learned to stop believing in them all together. One can recover from ‘being bipolar’, and one can recover from the diagnosis of ‘schizophrenia’. And to achieve this, one needs to start healing oneself.
The love you didn’t get at some point in your childhood, is a love available freely from the universe. It is a matter of claiming it for you, because you deserve it. You are a loving, wonderful individual, who has all the rights to a happy and fulfilled life, where money is not a problem, where you are surrounded by good, real friends, where you radiate health and your inner beauty, and where you feel happy each day. It is available to you, and you need to learn how to channel it for yourself, inside yourself.
One day, quite recently, I decided I am going to love myself from this moment on. I have to admit that I did seek help in the matter. No ‘doctor’ ever looked at what had happened to me in the past and how it affected as a result my health, and therefore, I started to explore it by myself. I deserve to be happy, and I deserve to be healed. I deserve to overcome my past trauma, because it restricts me from achieving my full wonderful potential, where I am an amazing teacher, a wonderful mum, where I live in a wonderful town, in a beautiful country, and where I am always lucky to attract the most radiant individuals as my friends into my life. I know that I do something right in my life, but I also know that because of the traumatic experience in the past, which wasn’t my fault, I am not yet fully at my full potential, at my best version of myself. My best version of myself is when I am in charge of a spiritual healing centre, to help others to not just heal, but become happy, and I want to realise this dream one day.
I sought help in other dimensions. I started to notice beauty around me, I started to work on myself by meditating, and I also discovered beautiful platform that helped me on my journey. I listen to masterclasses of Mindvalley, I listen to extremely powerful podcats of Marisa Peer, and I also meditate with Soulvana app. And the most amazing thing, is that you can get this help for free. Mindvalley runs constant free masterclasses, Marisa Peer has her website with free audio transformational messages, and meditation on Soulvana is also free.
I also read numerous books, and studied many ancient wisdom, and also the wisdom of modern times. I learned to appreciate good things that come into my life. I am indeed very lucky. And I am lucky because despite having a terrible diagnosis one day from the psychiatry, and despite dealing with lots of loss and trauma, I not only survived, I decided to flourish.
And at the end of the day, I learned one powerful thing in my journey. It all comes to loving oneself.
I did it automatically, by stroking my own head, while all the terrible things told to me in my past by one very unkind person, such as that I am not worthy, I am bad, I am a terrible terrible girl, run through my head. All this was told to me when I was only twelve.
And one day I caught myself watching these thoughts. The conditioning and hatred towards me, was so strong, that it stayed around my mind, despite all the facts to the contrary. I am a good person, I am a wonderful beautiful woman. I am worthy. I achieved enormous things in my life. But the thoughts were there, because they were inflicted on me during several years of nightmare, and it became as a result, almost like a powerful black magic, a curse.
I took the decision to remove the curse. Now when I stroke my head, I tell myself that I am lovable, that I am worthy, that I am likeable, and that I am unique. I have phenomenal surviving skills, I am very smart, and I deserve happiness.
The journey towards self-love is never late. Give yourself the permission to love yourself. Join me on this wonderful journey towards recovery from trauma, towards self-healing and love. Join me on the quest towards removing the curse inflicted on you by someone unkind, someone bad. Claim your power back from that person.
And then remove any diagnosis from your head. Give yourself the permission to be healthy, happy and radiant. Your ‘illness’ was your phenomenal coping mechanism, your amazing desire to survive. And you can heal, and you can get better. Tell yourself each morning: ‘I am worthy, I am lovable, I am exceptional, I deserve wealth, love, happiness, and joy.’
I am doing it, and so can you.