Unique People: Be different. Be unique

I like unique, unusual  people, I genuinely do. I realized it another day, thinking why, for instance, I am attracted only to certain people and have, most of the time, weird, unusual and daring friends.

I am unusual, and I attract unusual people into my life. By unusualness I mean unique outlook to life, the ability to not just think out-of-the-box, but demonstrate in practice what it actually means. We ask the new generation for out-of-the-box thinking, but do we even know what it is? Out-of-the-box should mean being different, but in reality this word is mostly used on paper, because, we, humans in western hemisphere, really forgot how to live differently, how to live interestingly, and how to be unique.

Let me give you in an example with two variables in otherwise same and boring system of normality. Let’s call them Nick and Janna. They met at the end of their studies, both interesting and lovely humans, who fall in love, or think they fall in love, as how many of us confuse passion (it disappears relatively quickly) and real love, I got tired of counting? I don’t know about you but I had met only one or two couples in my life who show with their union what love is, one of such couple were my grand-parents (I wrote about them here). Many other couples follow the same pattern: marriage, mortgage, kids, work, retirement. Nick and Janna did the same, realizing one day that they had missed on something, when it’s too late. It is so boring as a plan in life (marriage, mortgage, retirement)  that I am surprised why not more people rebel against it, especially when they discover that all passion is gone not just from their union but other aspects of life as well. Work should be fun, life should be interesting and adventurous, and we should dare more.

I dare in life and therefore, live a truly interesting and unique life. And I refuse to be humble and not to admit it loud and clear. Yes, I live adventurously and I live uniquely. Just four months ago, I accepted a job offer in Leeuwarden (Friesland), and moved to another country for the fifth time. Difficult? You bet! Challenging? Yes, I am exhausted, especially that I also moved my son and my cat in unprecedented life move (before this move, I would move countries on my own, which is a piece of cake, in comparison to what I did this year). Do I regret it? No, of course not. I miss my friends I made in Sheffield, I miss the UK (where I lived for the last twelve years), I miss cafes there with live music, my strolls in the hills, the local park with its café, the botanical gardens, the Sharrow vale with its restaurants and artisanal shops. I miss the British sense of humor, the BBC, yes, I miss it a lot. But if I stayed there, I could see my life unfolding in front of me with a depressing picture. It would stay the same, with me holding three different jobs, all on zero-hours contracts (even if at university), until I would be lucky enough to land in a more permanent post, the political unfortunate developments after Brexit for the whole country, the homelessness on the streets, the same routine. I was stuck in it, and once stuck, we should look for solutions, not wait for one day when you wake up and realize suddenly that you missed on opportunities, that you didn’t dare, that you let go off the fortune.

Yes, I have it in me, the forcing of fortune. I refuse day after day to ever let go and be weak. Oh, on how many days I wanted to give in to nostalgia, to the misery of the life itself, become depressed (and I did experience it) because, let’s admit it, life is not easy, and we are not always in control of the events. Bad things happen, and bad things can damage us if we let it.

There was once a woman who worked in my son’s school. Her name was Sarah. She worked in the after-school club, a very pleasant, beautiful woman, who as me, was a single mum, and we sympathized with each other. I could sense some sadness in Sarah as if she was looking for something more, for life itself to reveal herself in a more interesting and unusual way. I probably felt in her what I feel myself, the powerful urge to live fully and to live each single day with a purpose.

My son changed school and we lost touch, but two years later I met Sarah in a pub. Sarah was a different person. She had, on the spur of the moment, decided to move to Malta and was back in Sheffield to sell her house to say goodbye to the UK for good. Sarah was blossoming, she was happy! Did she move for a marvelous job? No, not really, Sarah moved just because she wanted to experience something totally new, she wanted adventure and she wanted more from her life. She found work as a cleaner, and was happy, because the job became just a means to live life at a different level.

You might guess that I admired Sarah when I met her in the pub. I didn’t know at that moment that only a few months later I would also move to another country (fifth time), but I thought then: wow, that’s an interesting life! Maybe I should do the same, even if it seemed like almost impossible, that with a small child, a house, and a cat.

So, what am I trying to say in this post?

Be like Sarah! Be adventurous and be unique. Don’t be afraid to make radical changes, even if it means that you might change a glamourous job to a less prestigious one. It’s not the status and wealth which really matter, but the desire to live life fully, without compromises, radically and in a unique way.

Be different. Be unique. Think indeed out-of-the-box. Don’t be like everyone else.

me at waterfall

(me at waterfall when I went back to Sheffield for a visit)

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